Fair, Not Equal

    I recently met someone I hadn't seen for years. Of course, we had to catch up with each other's lives. I asked her how many grandchildren she had and she happily said, "Fifty with four more on the way." I was stunned. She is younger than me and I found it hard to believe she had that many grandchildren. She went on to say they married young, had nine children, and some of them have twelve or thirteen children. I still found it hard to believe but I'm sure she was not mistaken. 

    I told her our oldest son has no children, the second one adopted his, our daughter has three, and the two youngest sons each have one. She said, "Then you don't have very many grandchildren." I suppose her next statement was intended to be sympathetic or comforting but she flippantly said, "Life is fair; it's just not equal."

   My first reaction was to think that's one way to put it. But the more I thought about it, I decided she was actually telling me she does not understand the grief of infertility. Grandmas who collect grandchildren by the dozen with no difficulty cannot understand how grandmothers grieve with their children when they are unable to have babies. We grieve for a child who never was as much as for one who died after birth.  

    It's so easy to give pat answers when we have not experienced what others are going through. That is true whether it's infertility, death, financial problems, wayward children, or you name it. We can spout off verses to trust in the Lord, or whatever, but that does not necessarily bring the comfort we think it will.

   When we had a stillborn son, someone said now I would be able to comfort others who have the same experience in the future. I knew that was true and nodded but my heart screamed, I don't want to comfort other people. I want my baby. "You have a family started in heaven." I don't want a family in heaven; I want my baby here with me. "I guess if you never had him in your home you don't miss him." What? I had him in my heart and I do miss him.

    Those who offered the most comfort were the ones who had walked the same road before us. I could tell by their faces and tone of voice that they understood. They could empathize, which goes much deeper than sympathy. 

     I'm sure I am guilty of saying things that hurt instead of helped when someone was going through something I never experienced. Or perhaps more often NOT saying something when I should have. It stings to hear someone say, "Life is fair; it's just not equal" when it doesn't feel fair. 

   I am not bitter about the way things have gone for us because I believe God knows what He is doing and someday we will understand. I have accepted the way things are and am thankful for what we do have. This comment was a reminder to me to think before I speak and try to be more understanding.      

    

The Extra Years

   We're in the eighth month of the year and it's been unusually full of doctor appointments in our family. Everything was going smoothly until March 17 when Leroy had a heart attack and wound up in the hospital getting three stents put in an artery that was 100% blocked. Fortunately, we caught it in time and there was no damage to his heart. But he had a month of therapy and months of getting his glucose under control with diet and medicine.

   The next day (March 18) our oldest son was hurt at work. His index finger was smashed, a hole slashed in the top of his right hand and a tendon torn. The hand was pinned together in surgery and immobile for weeks. After it healed, he had months of therapy to regain the use of the hand. He was finally able to go back to work at the end of July but is still doing therapy at home twice a day to regain strength in the hand.

   I was having trouble with a tingling weak leg and right arm, so I went for a month of therapy in May. I had good results but am still doing the therapy at home.

    An eye exam in June showed that my cataracts had grown to the extent that my vision could no longer be corrected with glasses. It was time to have the cataracts removed. I had the first one done yesterday and the second one will be done in September.

   Our second son is also having a cataract removed this month. About twenty years ago his eye was injured at work and he had surgery on it. That injury may have contributed to the cataract growing before he is an old man. He will have his surgery done the same place I did.

   We also have two brothers-in-law who are recovering from major surgeries. One had a serious infection after surgery and is wearing a wound vac to keep the wound clean. The other, who had been on dialysis four years, received a kidney transplant this week.

    A lot of things have gotten worse in this world during my lifetime, but medicine is one thing that has improved with the passing of time. The medical help we got this year was not possible years ago. God has allowed man to learn things never known before. People with the conditions mentioned above either died or were crippled for life. The medicines I take for rheumatoid arthritis were not available and people with RA were confined to a wheelchair with constant pain.

   Much as I enjoy history and old things, I'm glad I'm living in this era rather than hundreds of years ago. The aches and pains that go with old age can be treated. With the advances in the medical field, people are living longer than they used to. The challenge is to be sure we make good use of the extra years we are given. Sure, we lose strength as we age and can no longer do what we once did, but we can be just as active in Kingdom work in different ways.  Retirement years should not be spent in pleasure seeking and entertainment. There is always something we can do for the Lord. Ultimately, He is the One who gives life and healing.

Martin Burkholder

    Every Burkholder who knows something about their history will recognize the names of the Burkholder immigrants who arrived in Pennsylvania in the 1700s. Perhaps the most well-known of them is Christian Burkholder who was a bishop in the Mennonite church during the Revolutionary War. 

     Some of the Burkholders in Switzerland and Germany stayed there. And there were some who were not Mennonite. One non-Mennonite Burkholder who immigrated in the 1700s and settled in Lancaster County has been largely forgotten.

     Martin Burkholder was born in 1731 and naturalized in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, in 1760. He was married to Anna Eve Amweg and had seven children. They lived in the Reinholds area West Cocalico Township. The children were baptized at the Swamp (Little Cocalico) Reformed Church.

   Their first child died young. Henry, George and Michael lived in West Cocalico Township as well as their sister Anna Eve, wife of John Harnish. Peter sold his West Cocalico farm and moved to the Stouchsburg area of Berks County. Sophia married Samuel Batteicher and moved to Upper Bern Township in Berks County.  Some of the descendants of Martin, especially the children of George, joined Mennonite or Brethren churches.

    Martin died in 1811 and was probably buried in the cemetery of the Swamp (Little Cocalico) Reformed Church. His and his wife's graves may be marked by one of the many illegible field stones in the cemetery. 

    You can read the whole story in the July 2022 issue of Pennsylvania Mennonite Heritage magazine published by the Lancaster Mennonite Historical Society.

Swamp (Little Cocalico) Reformed Church built in 1806 to replace the earlier log building. It is now called Swamp Christian Fellowship.

Fifty-five Years of Blessing

   We have tried to take a family picture about every five years. The last one that was taken five years ago was for our fiftieth anniversary. We added some people since then, so it was time to document our tribe again this year. Here's where we started fifty-five years ago with a brand-new family of two.

Two years later there were four of us.

Daryl (1968) Dale (1969)

And then the two boys had a sister.

Cheryl (1971)

A third son joined the family and then we were six. 

Steve (1975)

The boys kept coming. Fifteen years after we began our family of eight was complete.

Gene (1980) Gerald (1983)

Our numbers didn't increase again until our twenty-fifth anniversary when a son-in-law joined the family. Tragically, we lost one of the sons (Steve, back row, left) in an accident about a year and a half later. Cheryl married Richard Miller in 1991.

The family grew as more in-laws and grandchildren were added.

Daryl married Velma in 1998; Dale married Tawnya in 1993.

And grew . . . 

and grew some more.

Then the youngest was married and we kept on growing. By our fiftieth anniversary a grandson was married. Gene married Amy in 2006; Gerald married Kelly in 2011.

Left to right--Dale and Tawnya with 9 adopted children; Leroy & Romaine; Daryl and Velma; Cheryl and Richard with 3 children and a daughter-in-law; Gerald and Kelly; Gene and Amy with one son, Grayson.

Five years later, we are blessed an additional granddaughter (seated left) and great-grandchildren (sitting on the grass to the left) have begun a new generation. Unfortunately, two grandsons, a wife and third great-grandchild are missing from the photo. In fifty-five years we have gone from two to thirty-one. We are expecting the number to increase next year.

Left to right--Gerald and Kelly with daughter Abigail, Cheryl and Richard with 3 children and 2 grandchildren; Dale and Tawnya with 7 of their adopted children; Daryl & Velma; Gene, Amy, and Grayson.

  The way was not always easy, but we have been abundantly blessed through these fifty-five years. "The Lord is good, His mercy is everlasting and His truth endures to all generations."

The Nethinim

    I am following a one-year Bible reading plan this year and just finished the book of Nehemiah this morning. As I went through Ezra and Nehemiah, the word "Nethinim" kept popping up. Who were the Nethinim?

   A Google search turned up a mixture of opinions on where the Nethinim came from and what they became. I won't try to sort out all of that. What everyone agreed on was that they were temple servants with menial tasks such as carrying water and bringing wood for the sacrifices. They were considered the lowest class of those who served in the temple.

   The job of the Nethinim might be compared to janitorial or trustee work in our churches today. This is the kind of work that often goes unnoticed until no one does it. When we arrive at the church, we expect it to be unlocked, clean, cool in the summer and warm in the winter, the grass mowed or the snow removed from the parking lot. But these things do not happen automatically; someone has to do it. The work of the ministers, teachers, superintendents, etc. is more visible but the maintenance work is just as important for the church to function properly. 

   Temple worship was conducted by a variety of offices such as priests, Levites, singers, and Nethinim. They worked together, each filling their roles, to conducted temple worship. Not everyone is gifted with leadership or public speaking skills. We each need to exercise the gifts God has given us and work together to build the church.

    We naturally like to see our efforts appreciated and receive credit for a job well done. But there is a great blessing for those who humbly stay in the background and serve in menial tasks which are taken for granted. In 1 Samuel 30, David and his 400 men went out to battle and another 200 "stayed by the stuff."  When David and his men returned with the spoils of war, he said those who stayed behind were just as worthy to receive a reward. Their job as stuff guarder was just as important as the warrior on the front lines. 

     Your position in the church does not determine your reward. God rewards faithfulness whether you are the bishop or a Nethinim. Fill your place faithfully and it will not go unnoticed by God.

Doing What I Can

  June is here! It's the month with the most perfect days of the year. Roses are blooming, birds twitter and trill in an all-day concert, skies are blue, the air is perfumed with the smell of drying hay, and strawberries are ripe. 

  There was a time in my life I was too busy to fully enjoy the benefits of June. I had a houseful of children to feed and clothe. We had a huge garden that produced an abundance of peas and strawberries to pick and freeze. And there was two weeks of Summer Bible School. It was a challenge to get everybody there clean and on time. Now that we're empty nesters the garden has shrunk to a small plot, and we have time to smell the roses. I wouldn't have wanted to miss the earlier stage of life but neither do I want to repeat it.

   Although the pace of life has slowed, it does not mean I have nothing to do. As long as my eyes and hands work, I will find something to do. My most recent new idea is to crochet newborn caps for the layette bundles we make at sewing circle. Imagine having time to crochet in the summer! It never happened before. But newborn caps are quick and easy to make. I made sixteen in two weeks. It should be no problem to have forty by the end of August when we will pack the bundles.

    My cap factory was forced to close temporarily last week when I got an emergency call that consumed the week. The Writer's Conference in Virginia was being held June 2-3. Three days before it was to start, I got a call asking if I could fill in for one of the speakers who had to cancel due to a funeral. There was no way I could develop a one-hour workshop in three days. I agreed on the condition that I could repeat a workshop I did before. With their approval, I pulled a workshop out of my files that I had done ten years ago in Pennsylvania. With some revision, it was ready to go. 

    My workshop on story writing for children was on Thursday afternoon. With the state of affairs in my back, I am not able to stand for an hour to speak. They graciously provided a chair that raised up high enough for me to see over the podium so I could sit to speak. 

    After my workshop was over, I could sit back and enjoy the rest of the conference. They had some excellent speakers lined up this year. I always enjoy seeing people I only see there and meeting new people with the same interests. The 400 who attended came from a variety of church groups and were of all ages. It's good to see young people developing writing skills and using them for the Lord. Jesus said He would build His church and nothing will be able to stop it. I'll keep on doing what I can as long as my eyes and hands work but am glad to see the younger generation picking up and going on.

   

   

    

   

Pomp and Circumstance

  Spring is here and the strains of Pomp and Circumstance are ringing across the country as the 2022 crop of graduates march in to commencement at their schools. It's a tune that stirs the heart of a parent (or grandparent) to tears of joy as their child appears in the line. I'm willing to hazard a guess that it may be the graduate's favorite tune. (It reminds me of what presidential candidate John Kennedy said when asked about his favorite song: "I like the ring of Hail to the Chief.")

  Yesterday we watched two grandchildren walk in on Pomp and Circumstance at the first annual commencement of Sattler College in Boston. Sattler College opened in 2018. The class of 2022 was the first to receive degrees from the school. The name of the college is derived from Michael Sattler who drafted the Schleitheim Confession of Faith in 1527 shortly before he was martyred for his Anabaptist faith. One of the songs he wrote was sung in the program of the first commencement of Sattler College. Also included was a song based on the words of Menno Simmons, "True evangelical faith cannot lie sleeping." Both songs were tributes to two outstanding leaders of the Anabaptist faith.

   We were not at Sattler College in person yesterday, but thanks to technology, were able to watch the entire exercises via livestream. Dylan entered the school the year it was founded. His class experienced many firsts, including virtual classes during a pandemic. The four years melted away in spite of the obstacles while he completed all the requirements to receive a bachelor's degree in business. He has already been hired and will stay in Boston to begin his career.

   

    Sattler College also offers a one-year course in Biblical and Religious Studies. Arianna enrolled for the 2020-21 year. The year was complicated by Covid but she persevered and earned a certificate. Unfortunately, due to Covid concerns, no graduation was held for the Bible students in 2021. They were included in this year's ceremonies. Arianna has gone back home to Ohio and we are waiting to see where her path will lead in the future. Her year at Sattler was a growing experience.

    The class of 2022 assembled on the Boston Commons after the ceremonies. The students on the left with white certificates are the Bible graduates. Those on the right with dark blue diplomas earned bachelor's degrees.

   Congratulations to all these students for the hard work and diligence it took to earn their degrees.

   Dylan's twin brother, Durrell, was there to share in the joy of reaching this milestone in his life.

May you have enough happiness to keep you sweet, 

Enough trials to keep you strong, 

Enough sorrow to keep you human, 

Enough hope to keep you happy, 

Enough failure to keep you humble, 

Enough success to keep you eager, 

Enough friends to give you comfort, 

Enough faith and courage to banish sadness, 

Enough wealth to meet your needs,

And enough determination to make each day 

a more wonderful day than the one before.

(Irish blessing)

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)