Presumptuous Sins

In Psalm 19:13 David says, "Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression." 

What are presumptuous sins? I reached for the dictionary and found this definition, "failing to observe the limits of what is permitted or appropriate." Hmmm. Could we say failing to realize our limits? How might that be demonstrated in our lives?  

For starters:

• Thinking we are more important than we really are
• Having an inflated opinion of ourselves (our looks or opinions)
• Attempting to do something that is beyond our ability
• Thinking we can disregard God's Word and get by

When you look at that list (and there could be more), the root of every one is the original sin of pride and faith in ourselves rather than God. As William Earnest Henley said, "I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul."

There is a grain of truth in that statement as God made us creatures of choice. We can decide to follow Christ or not which determines our fate, but it is also true that "the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord."

My mother was a godly person but she had a proper view of God which resulted in a proper view of herself. She said, "The church does not depend on me and will not stop when I'm gone." She was a great asset to the Lord's work and very much missed when she was gone, but He raised up others to take her place. The church of Jesus Christ is still going on twenty-seven years after her death. 

I'm not sitting on top of the world. I can't make everything right that is wrong. I can't live by my own rules (and bend them to my liking) and slide under the door into heaven. Probably 99.99% of the people in this world never heard of me. What I have accomplished in 72 years of living is minuscule when I think of men like William Tyndale, John Wycliffe, Menno Simons, Daniel Kauffman, Jim Elliot, and others. 

Keep me from presumptuous sins--from thinking I'm more important or powerful than I really am. I am not indispensable. The church of Jesus Christ will go on without me and He already has people prepared to take my place. 

"The Lord is good, His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations."

The C-word

Three of my grandparents and both of my parents died from cancer of various types. I knew my family history put me at high-risk for some kind of cancer someday. But "someday" is always in the hazy far off future. Years passed and nothing happened. 

Shadows fell across my path about five or six years ago when I had an MRI for leg pain. That issue was soon resolved but the MRI had shown a small spot on my kidney. I was sent to a urologist who ordered a CT scan. The result was inconclusive. Dr. White ordered annual scans to watch the spot. I thought it wasn't necessary. He said kidney cancer is a silent killer; by the time there are symptoms it is too late. He wanted to watch it in case it got active and catch it early. So I kept going for the scans but usually there was only a tiny growth or no change. He still wasn't sure what it was. I reached my "threescore years and ten" and the C-word was still out there in the hazy future.

It came into focus when my annual CT scan was done the end of February this year. A few days later the results showed up in my lab report. "Highly suspicious for malignancy." This was followed by a letter from the hospital urging me to see my doctor as soon as possible. I had never gotten a letter like that before. I already had an appointment scheduled with Dr. White the first week of March. At that time he confirmed that the tumor had grown to 3.2 and was malignant. It was time to remove it and a surgery date was set.

My surgery date is set for May 29. We did not think it was necessary for people to think or talk about it that long so Leroy and I kept the secret to ourselves. As long as no one knew, it was easy to ignore it. We decided to tell our children and siblings on the weekend of May 9-10. I dreaded doing that; I suppose because saying it aloud made me face reality. The following Sunday our church family was informed. 

I always thought people are devastated and panic when they receive a cancer diagnosis. I was not. I had suspected for years it would catch me someday. Besides, Dr. White said it is Stage 1 and he believes he can remove the tumor without taking the whole kidney. The prognosis is good. More importantly, I know my life and soul are in God's hands and whatever happens I am secure in Him. If I should die in the OR, I will go on to live with Him. There is nothing to fear in death. If I recover and am cured of cancer, I will praise the Lord and try to serve Him to the best of my ability as long as He wants me to stay here.

 "For I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him [my soul, my life, my family] against that day."(2 Timothy 1:12)