The C-word

Three of my grandparents and both of my parents died from cancer of various types. I knew my family history put me at high-risk for some kind of cancer someday. But "someday" is always in the hazy far off future. Years passed and nothing happened. 

Shadows fell across my path about five or six years ago when I had an MRI for leg pain. That issue was soon resolved but the MRI had shown a small spot on my kidney. I was sent to a urologist who ordered a CT scan. The result was inconclusive. Dr. White ordered annual scans to watch the spot. I thought it wasn't necessary. He said kidney cancer is a silent killer; by the time there are symptoms it is too late. He wanted to watch it in case it got active and catch it early. So I kept going for the scans but usually there was only a tiny growth or no change. He still wasn't sure what it was. I reached my "threescore years and ten" and the C-word was still out there in the hazy future.

It came into focus when my annual CT scan was done the end of February this year. A few days later the results showed up in my lab report. "Highly suspicious for malignancy." This was followed by a letter from the hospital urging me to see my doctor as soon as possible. I had never gotten a letter like that before. I already had an appointment scheduled with Dr. White the first week of March. At that time he confirmed that the tumor had grown to 3.2 and was malignant. It was time to remove it and a surgery date was set.

My surgery date is set for May 29. We did not think it was necessary for people to think or talk about it that long so Leroy and I kept the secret to ourselves. As long as no one knew, it was easy to ignore it. We decided to tell our children and siblings on the weekend of May 9-10. I dreaded doing that; I suppose because saying it aloud made me face reality. The following Sunday our church family was informed. 

I always thought people are devastated and panic when they receive a cancer diagnosis. I was not. I had suspected for years it would catch me someday. Besides, Dr. White said it is Stage 1 and he believes he can remove the tumor without taking the whole kidney. The prognosis is good. More importantly, I know my life and soul are in God's hands and whatever happens I am secure in Him. If I should die in the OR, I will go on to live with Him. There is nothing to fear in death. If I recover and am cured of cancer, I will praise the Lord and try to serve Him to the best of my ability as long as He wants me to stay here.

 "For I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him [my soul, my life, my family] against that day."(2 Timothy 1:12)