Sympathy Cards

   Spring is coming and with it comes spring cleaning. When I was young and we had a family at home, I gave the whole house a thorough cleaning every spring and fall. But as the children married and the size of the family shrank, so did my strength and the amount of dirt that accumulated. I modified my cleaning schedule to get over the house once a year, doing one room or portion per month and finishing in December. I skip the coldest winter months of January and February and begin again in March.

   So this is March and time to start the cleaning schedule for 2023. It begins with my office. Since all my winter projects (quilting, scrapbooking and crocheting) are finished, I had time to go through all the desk drawers and boxes of stuff in the closets. I threw out half of my box of research notes on the Powl family, some files in the desk and other things. If I didn't remember what it was, nobody else would either. On the top shelf of the one closet was a box of just shy of 450 cards we got after Steve died. They sat there for 29 years and were never touched. I decided they have served their purpose and can go too.

   Before pitching them, we sat down and went through them. I was amazed where all the cards came from. There were cards from relatives, friends, business places, and people we didn't know. A lot of the relatives are no longer living and also some of our friends. 

   I made some observations as I went through the cards. First, I should send more cards. Second, when I choose a card to send to someone, I try to pick one with an appropriate message. But when those cards came, I only read the name of the sender and a short message if they had written one in the card. We got as many as sixty cards a day and my mind was too full and tired to read every word. One lady who meant well sent a four-page letter on how to handle grief. I didn't know her and never read it. The best ones were those that shared a memory of Steve. What you write in a card is more important than what is pre-printed in it. Write a note but make it short and sweet.

   The cards that I did read every word came months and years later. One dear lady has sent us a note on Steve's birthday and the anniversary of his death every year for 29 years. The cards and notes that come later mean more than those that come in bunches right away. Three or four months after a death is a low spot when it feels like everyone has forgotten and you are stuck with the grief. That is when a card or note is really appreciated. But if you want to do that, it has to be intentional. If you don't put it on your schedule, you probably won't remember to send it.

  It seems a shame to pitch all those cards that people spent so much time and money on. But if I put the box back on the shelf they will sit there again as long as we live here and eventually will come to the same end. I might as well dispose of them myself and spare our children the trouble when they have to empty this house. If it makes you feel better, I did save a handful that were especially meaningful and/or from special people. It was touching to go through the cards and be reminded that so many people cared.