Al and Arthur

I have been married to the same man for nearly 42 years and have always been a firm believer in monogamous marriage. I have heard that as a woman ages it becomes harder to keep other men out of her life. I found out this winter that we don't always have a choice.

The first unsolicited suitor moved in this winter. His name is Al Lergey. Leroy is the one who always had allergies, not me. But I have had a stuffy nose all winter and a shot of Dristin nasal spray opens the airways. So, like it or not, I guess I'm stuck with Al Lergey.

Then the other week Arthur Itis kicked down the door, came in, and has been taking me with him from joint to joint. If this keeps up, I'll soon be like the 86-year-old lady who wrote in a letter to her pastor:

Dear Pastor,

Don't ever forget about us old folks. We are worth a fortune. We have Silver in our hair, Gold in our teeth, Stones in our kidneys, Lead in our feet and Gas in our stomachs.
I myself have become quite a frivolous old gal since I wrote you last. As a matter of fact, I'm seeing five different gentleman everyday. When I get up in the morning, Will Power gets me out of bed. Then I immediately go see John. A few minutes later, Charley Horse comes along. When he leaves, I spend the day with Arthur-itis. Finally I'm so tired, I go to bed with Ben Gay.
As you can see, we all need your prayers.....